maine life sucks

everyone says maine is so beautiful, yada, yada, yada, and it's true, there are many pretty locales here. unfortunately, it's one of the worst places to live year round. it's provincial, backward, rural and definitely out of the loop of places where i want to live. i absolutely hate it here. i can't even get a newspaper delivered here, nor can i have a windowbox for herbs or anything. worst of all, it isn't home at all. i feel like i am in a foreign country. since 2001 i have never had a decent job here. i can't imagine who would ruin my life in massachusetts where i nearly always had a good job for this crappy place. i've been in pain for two weeks now, not constant but often and it's keeping me from sleeping at night, which makes me a truly miserable camper. i was happier living in a homeless shelter than i am here, at least i was never sick and i had a good job to boot. i miss my career, i miss my freedom, i miss being at home, i miss everything; conversely i hate nearly everything here. just ignore this post, i am furious as usual and mad at everyone and everything. i am hoping soon i will get out of here for good and back to my real life and away from this vacationland hell; i've gotten rid of the job from hell and now it's time for maine to go too.