can you believe?

for 20 years, some stupid idiot has been trying to disable me, keep me from having a career, at least that is how it seems. i was working at that lousy rehab hospital in braintree and my entire life went to hell. my house got stolen, i was rousted from a free rent house, i've had a bitch of a time trying to work, along the way various periods of unemployment, homelessness, debts piling up and even in maine it is more of the lousy same. since 2001 here i've never had a decent job, out of work nearly 2 years, then working for those corporate crooks who, it seems, are also trying to disable me. now, after 2 weeks of neck/back/shoulder/elbow pain and with no insurance, screwed by those bitches terry, tracey and janice, all seems quite bleak. i hope i never find the rotten idiots who have been in my way all these years. i hate them as much as anyone can hate anybody. God has been merciful and kept me from knowing who the stupid morons are, for there would be no mercy for them at all. After a miserable marriage, then 10 long years of struggling far too much and now this, 20 years of more misery. i keep hoping it will end some time but it never does. no matter where i go, i can't stay. i can't live in massachusetts, i can't be a medical secretary, i can't have a circle of friends and i can't go to church where i want. what is the point of being an emancipated adult if you are still imprisoned by other people's agendas. i can't figure out why my whole frigging life has to be miserable. i really don't know. i hate nearly everyone at this point. i'm about to start shooting people on sight, i hate them that much. the best revenge is to outlive the rotten bastards; maybe then i can do what i want for a change. now if i could just find out what is wrong with my neck and shoulder, maybe i could think about something else for a change.