Saturday, April 11, 2015

more recent stash additions


about 2 months ago in the midst of my packing frenzy, realized that marden's might soon be unaccessible...so in a pre-emptive strike, gathered up these lovely spring-colored goodies for future sewing fun.  of course, this was way before the recent twisted events, but even so, think it was a wise move.  the machines are safely tucked away leaving me without quilty fun.  working diligently with housing, hoping to be moved and settled soon so i can get back to lots of fun with old and new projects.  sadly, the hawaiian is packed away as well so no finish on that is on the horizon.  without the quilty part of my life and a home base, simply adrift in the sea of a terrifying and isolated life experience making it difficult to even function day to day.  i seldom get depressed, but without my sewing and quilting to shore me up through this difficult passage, relying on faith-based inner strength to keep me going.  by that i do not mean the support of church family Christians, as in the past i have found they were nonexistent.  we are all recovering pharisees of course, but far too many claim God's agenda as their own, doing great harm in the process.......

Friday, April 10, 2015

aaarrrrrrrgh!

as snoopy often says, or another way to say it is SH** happens!  should be in my cozy new apartment by now but alas and alack, dark forces have derailed well laid plans once again.  have mostly gotten over the screaming and crying....well the screaming anyway....and formulating plan B, then C and D to cover all bases.  to say i am disappointed and angry is a gross understatement....as some of you know, for the past 20 years, life has been an uphill challenge with setbacks too numerous to mention.  have not been able to figure out the problem, apparently way too dense and brain-addled for that.  the whole mess has made me physically ill and hugely upset.  with all my sewing goodies packed away, unable to treat with daily sewing fixes.  instead have had to wash dishes as a salve to the wounded spirit and soul, so you know the situation is pretty bad.  *** as somebody once told me about my disastrous marriage, it was like my 40 years in the desert....who knew the desert experience would continue my whole life (sniff, sniff)....it isn't that i don't have gratitudes just that was hoping life would be more enjoyable at some point.    i know there are those in worse situations and am grateful mine is fairly benign; it's just the longevity is wearing me down.  this short post is an update for those who care and maybe even some of those dark forces who snoop.....