Friday, October 15, 2010

a nor'easter

wild wind and rain for most of today, glad it wasn't winter or we'd be snowed in now. it will really have a negative effect on the foliage, which is at peak. hand/wrist/elbow/shoulder a bit better today. i see a smidgen of improvement every day, no thanks to Anthem. i still can't sleep through the night, so i'm hoping that will change soon. this is grocery shopping weekend and went out to pick up a few immediate need items this afternoon. got some fresh fish for dinner. living on the ocean as we do, we eat fish and shellfish often. i can't remember the last time i had frozen fish, probably at mcdonald's. i picked up about a pound of steamer clams also. the lobster tank was full and somebody was trying to climb out over the top. he wanted to come home with me and i would have been quite happy to bring him, but being out of work have to watch the pennies. lobster isn't too expensive right now but it's still out of the normal menu item. i see these tv chefs cook lobster in all these exotic ways. in my opinion, they just ruin it. steamed with butter is best, though i like mine cold with hot melted butter....yum! losing track of actual day of week since i'm not working. i can't even sew right now either. job hunting is akin to a root canal for me, but can't be helped and i certainly don't miss the insurance snake pit for one nanosecond. sorry, no quilty news to post at all, maybe soon.

short night

thanks to the nazis at anthem, i woke up at 3 am due to shoulder discomfort. i can pretty well keep it quiet during the day when i'm active, but lying down all night is still problematic. since the moist heat seems to keep the pain away, i might have to relocate to florida for complete healing. i do know of a mobile home that is for sale, probably cheap, if i were considering buying it but other than visiting family, i am not keen on florida at all. i am still puzzled as to why my life went to complete hell just because i sold my home back in 1993. i am still hopeful i can find employment again as a medical secretary, a job i always enjoyed and for which i have tons of experience. my life may have gotten derailed yet again by unknown idiots, but i haven't given up....not by a long shot. i still have plenty of time to get back on track. now that i'm away from claim status hell, i actually started walking again yesterday. please, god, make the shoulder 100% better right now so i can sleep all night again.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

job hunting again

it took me two years to find the vile job at anthem, so i can only imagine how many years it will take me to find another job here in maine. maine was in recession long before anyone could spell the word. maine has always been a depressed area economically. with 25 years' experience in medical office support, i am not looking for a corporate ladder-climbing job, just a garden variety position for which i have a real passion and plenty of experience. that doesn't seem to be what maine employers seek. i'm not looking for a huge salary either; in fact, most would be surprised to find out what my current needs are money-wise. but they don't care at all. it seems i cannot escape the agenda of other people. at braintree, i worked for the captain of the nutrition police force. he liked to hire fat women so he could indoctrinate and mold them into thin people. when i didn't cave, he hired someone fatter than me with more education besides. these days the nutrition police are everywhere, more so in maine it seems which is a driving place. at any rate, i'm not the only fat person seeking work and there are plenty in the field where i have the most experience as well. i so wish things would go right for a change. all has been perfectly rotten since i was coerced into selling the property. now doesn't that seem totally stupid to you? yeah, me too. 20 years later i am still waiting for something to go right for a change.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

what do I like?

genie asked me and i've been pondering the answer ever since. Well, i like quilting a LOT, sewing in general, cross-stitch plus a bit of chocolate now and then. I like rebecca barker's paintings, so beautiful. I love the ocean. I like Amish quilts a LOT. I love autumn and autumn fabrics. I like a juicy hamburger now and then. I like being a medical secretary a lot as well. It's a job I have missed for far too long. I like Boston and knowing I can navigate the city pretty well. I like music, all kinds, except jazz and country, ick big time. I like visiting Lancaster and the quaintness of the never-ending manicured farms. I like step aerobics, though it's been a while since I was in shape to do that, and I really like ballroom dancing. That was the most fun I have had in my entire life. I like watching Midsomer Murders on DVD, a great series. I like the coast of Maine, so beautiful from tip to tip. I like the Cape Cod seashore as well, again very beautiful. I like playing bid whist, though it's been eons since I did. I like going on quilty jaunts and taking a workshop now and then. I am a traditionalist at heart, not a purist and not liberal. Roy Rogers is my hero along with other white hat types. I like the Women's Lunch Place in Boston. They are wonderful people, provide wonderful services and wish I could donate more often. I like my Viking machine and it being my friend for 30 years now. I can't think of anything else right now, hope this will do.

humble pie

God, in His infinite wisdom, utilizes several methods to keep me from being too self-righteous about things from time to time. If you read this blog, you know I am prone to extreme vocabularic venting on a regular basis. Yesterday I received in the mail my certificate of creditable coverage from Anthem. It indicates they have continued my health insurance until November 1, 2010. I have been in serious pain the past two weeks with only basic muscle meds because I didn't want to incur any additional bills. This is good to know, even now that my arm is recovering albeit slowly, as I still have pain on a regular basis and if things go sour, I do have an option. That doesn't change the fact this is work related and they are playing their little "not me" game, but I'm not totally without a net here. So, I hope they will accept my sincere apology for part of the things I have said. Onward and upward to work, hopefully soon. I promise I will try to be more "quilty" on this blog in the future, focus on the word "try."

a traveling skunk

last night was a bit stuffy in the house, so i left my little fan on to cool off my room. early this morning i was awakened by the overpowering stench of the skunk. i'm wondering if this is the same skunk that used to be outside my window back when we lived in the house? every night for about two weeks, that same skunk was in my driveway. i thought he had literally moved in to stay but now it seems he likes to travel. hmm, he must be quite old by now but maybe not, maybe he was only a young spry back in 1993.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

trying to move on

got a call from the workers' comp board this morning. have advised me i can still appeal the company doc's denial but i've tried to fight unscrupulous maine employers before and lost in the end, even after appeals. i'm going to cut my losses with these current crooks and go on from here. as always, the working class always gets the shaft from big business but i am thinking of my own desires and not theirs. they bully everyone and usually win but national healthcare is coming and it will be the end of them once and for all. **** now i have to find a part time job with healthcare benefits. a medical practice could get someone with lots of experience for not much money salary-wise if they so wish. my arm is slowly improving, though still painful and stiff and difficult to sleep for any length of time, but i am praying i'll get a complete recovery eventually; sooner would be better. i'm typing 2 hands now, so that is a plus. when i get back to sewing, i know i'll be completely better.

Monday, October 11, 2010

anthem crooks

how low down do you have to be to try and disable somebody before you fire them? ask tracey abbott, janice waterman, terry hopkins, dan corcoran, john brangi, ken goulet and angela braley and the rest of those crooks at anthem. i hated that job and i would have been more than happy to be fired a lot sooner, but they had to wait and make sure i couldn't get a job anywhere else. those lousy, vicious shitheads. i hate them all. somebody should shoot them all on sight. it won't be me, my weapon of choice has always been and will continue to be words. they are more damaging than any bullet.

can you believe?

for 20 years, some stupid idiot has been trying to disable me, keep me from having a career, at least that is how it seems. i was working at that lousy rehab hospital in braintree and my entire life went to hell. my house got stolen, i was rousted from a free rent house, i've had a bitch of a time trying to work, along the way various periods of unemployment, homelessness, debts piling up and even in maine it is more of the lousy same. since 2001 here i've never had a decent job, out of work nearly 2 years, then working for those corporate crooks who, it seems, are also trying to disable me. now, after 2 weeks of neck/back/shoulder/elbow pain and with no insurance, screwed by those bitches terry, tracey and janice, all seems quite bleak. i hope i never find the rotten idiots who have been in my way all these years. i hate them as much as anyone can hate anybody. God has been merciful and kept me from knowing who the stupid morons are, for there would be no mercy for them at all. After a miserable marriage, then 10 long years of struggling far too much and now this, 20 years of more misery. i keep hoping it will end some time but it never does. no matter where i go, i can't stay. i can't live in massachusetts, i can't be a medical secretary, i can't have a circle of friends and i can't go to church where i want. what is the point of being an emancipated adult if you are still imprisoned by other people's agendas. i can't figure out why my whole frigging life has to be miserable. i really don't know. i hate nearly everyone at this point. i'm about to start shooting people on sight, i hate them that much. the best revenge is to outlive the rotten bastards; maybe then i can do what i want for a change. now if i could just find out what is wrong with my neck and shoulder, maybe i could think about something else for a change.

corporate crooks

the worst i've ever encountered is my former employer, anthem or wellpoint. not only do they give their providers and members the shaft bigtime, they screw their employees on a daily basis. after they deliberately caused injury to my arm, they fired me for "other" reasons that were justified, but have been overlooked before because I met the numbers for them. that is all they really care about, that and profits. the business is totally profit and production driven. how many claims you can "close" in a day is their primary goal. the customer service reps get all the crappy callers and they have the least amount of knowledge, at the mercy of the hundreds of other employees who actually make adjustments or changes to claims. the people who key claims from paper submissions make hundreds of mistakes because they are going for numbers and not accuracy. they also bombard their employees daily about healthy living, mostly to avoid illness that necessitates claims. Once someone gets hurt or sick, they are on anthem's shit list. you'd think they would be more careful not to deliberately inflict injury on their employees, but they don't. they also tell you how to influence your elected officials on policies that might benefit anthem, i.e. healthcare reform. that is so wrong on so many levels. so here i am 2 weeks later still with arm pain, thanks to tracey abbott, the ergo queen, and my caring (not) manager, janice waterman. of course the company doc declared me totally fit for work, which is a complete joke. i have nearly constant arm/shoulder/back pain. these people should all be shot, the building blown up and the industry decimated. i'm voting for national healthcare hoping this puts them out of business once and for all. they lie, cheat, steal and connive while skating on thin legal ice. it's time for healthcare to be determined by medical practitioners, not bean counters. what goes around, comes around, and they are way overdue.

maine life sucks

everyone says maine is so beautiful, yada, yada, yada, and it's true, there are many pretty locales here. unfortunately, it's one of the worst places to live year round. it's provincial, backward, rural and definitely out of the loop of places where i want to live. i absolutely hate it here. i can't even get a newspaper delivered here, nor can i have a windowbox for herbs or anything. worst of all, it isn't home at all. i feel like i am in a foreign country. since 2001 i have never had a decent job here. i can't imagine who would ruin my life in massachusetts where i nearly always had a good job for this crappy place. i've been in pain for two weeks now, not constant but often and it's keeping me from sleeping at night, which makes me a truly miserable camper. i was happier living in a homeless shelter than i am here, at least i was never sick and i had a good job to boot. i miss my career, i miss my freedom, i miss being at home, i miss everything; conversely i hate nearly everything here. just ignore this post, i am furious as usual and mad at everyone and everything. i am hoping soon i will get out of here for good and back to my real life and away from this vacationland hell; i've gotten rid of the job from hell and now it's time for maine to go too.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

a quiet sunday

not much doing at all except waiting for the arm thingie to get better. pretty annoying looking at all this fabric and these UFOs and not being able to sew one stitch. can now type with 2 hands but gingerly. i am hoping another week brings complete resolution. my first nonquilty task is to find part time work with health insurance as i currently have none and cobra is out of the question prohibitively expensive. i hardly get sick at all but do need that umbrella in case.